By: Mordicai

 

“The earth was created not with the gentle caress of love, but the brutal violence of rape,” any film that begins with such an audacious accusation promises to be quite an experience. The Hellstrom Chronicle takes that blood oath and delivers like the sting of a Giant Japanese hornet. Man may have survived Ice Ages, plagues and built modern civilization out of twigs and mud, but he will soon be eclipsed by creatures more elegant in design and far creepier when filmed up close.

 

Watch in awe as the crazed pariah ‘scientist’ Nils Hellstrom MS PHD deals out apocalyptic aphorisms with the brazen swagger of a cult leader - he is the Jim Jones of entomology. Marvel as the good doctor looses grip on his sanity, spiraling into a ranting, prophetic diatribe about locust clouds, DDT and mosquito plagues (don’t let this fellah corner you at a cocktail party). I would not be surprised to find that he has a jelly jar full of killer bees in his trunk, just waiting for the right moment to usher in his impending arthropod apocalypse.

 

Why I don't go to the park.

 

Hellstrom is a wild-eyed voyeur of the secret empires of insects that scheme and multiply beneath man’s arrogant feet. He watches as they fight, organize their societies and reproduce, all to the dismay of man, who will blindly bequeath his world after poisoning himself with pollution and radioactive fallout. I’m sure the insects will appreciate cleaning up the mess after the previous tenants are evicted.

 

Don't hose me, bro!

 

Hellstrom believes, as I’m sure his ex-wife will agree, that man is burdened by his compassion, love and intellect, and that the insect is perfect - a soulless machine programmed by nature to be impervious to pain and unhindered by individualism. It lives only to devour and does not hesitate to sacrifice itself for the unknowable greater good of its species. The doctor is quite insect-like himself; there are a couple of creepy segments where Hellstrom coldly ogles young couples at the park and at the drive-in, critiquing as they attempt to procreate with typical human inefficiency. Despite its schizophrenic mood, I was legitimately awed by the powerful climax that featured millions of African Army Ants forming a living carpet of death.

 

To Catch an Entomologist

 

I did my research, looking for other publications from this Dr. Hellstrom (his doctoral thesis: “What the Queers are doing to the Soil,” perhaps?) and found nothing. Sorry Virginia, there is no Dr. Nils Hellstrom. Unfortunately, he is only a fictitious doomsayer, more than aptly embodied by Lawrence Pressman, an actor who apparently learned Shakespearean acting from crazies on the subway. Co-director Waylon Green went on the rant in the same vain with the Secret Life of Plants and shared an Oscar nomination for writing The Wild Bunch and later, the seminal 1986 film Solarbabies. David Seltzer, the scribe who penned this Oscar-snubbed screenplay, would later gift the world The Omen as well as the mutant-bear movie, Prophecy.

 

With such talent amassed, it was no surprise to me that this, the hallmark of apocalyptic insect movies, won the Academy Award in 1972 for best documentary. Deservedly so, as the photography is incredible; every hair and gooey mystery fluid is magnified to the sharpest detail, to the delight of both the eyes and stomach. Most of the scenes speak for themselves and synch well with spacey sci-fi tones, groovy organ music, and gruesome sound effects. The widely available CD soundtrack makes the perfect gift for any occasion.

 

The Hellstrom Chronicle is a superior examination of the adaptations within the insect world despite its sensationalistic angle. The melding of documentary and far-out science fiction gives it a unique, hypnotic charm. This film is definitely required viewing. Seriously, stop what you’re doing right now and watch it. VHS copies are expensive, but bootlegs are easily available.

 

I almost peed like an excited puppy when I was finally able to view this fabled film grail, and to this weary video pilgrim, it was as close to a life-changing religious experience as you are likely to get from a VCR.

 

 

5/5 Anaphylactic Mice

 

 

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