By: Frank

 

An alien planet solves their trash problem by converting it into energy beams and blasting it into space. Back on Earth, the quirky Putterman family just bought a high-tech satellite dish. As they go about their daily lives of swinging sex, survival bunkers, and heavy metal, the alien trash beams blast down from the heavens into their questionable DIY dish, turning their TV into a portal for an alien trash monster who begins wreaking havoc on the household. Young son (and voice of reason) Sherman discovers what's going on and struggles to convince his family that the monster exists before they all end up dead. Sound convoluted? Don’t sweat it; this movie is successfully entertaining, but it doesn't owe its success to the story!

 

TerrorVision is a very original film, particularly in the context of low-budget 80’s schlock. It’s hard to pinpoint what makes it so original, as the plot and the characters aren’t particularly groundbreaking. But there’s some magic “x factor” at work here.  By way of analogy, imagine if Frank Henenlotter (Basket Case, Frankenhooker) directed E.T. starring the cast of Return of the Living Dead, tossing in enough green slime to satisfy fans of ‘You Can’t Do That on Television’ and enough Heineken references to pay for the entire budget with endorsement checks. It all melds together, forming a time capsule of an 80’s that may not have existed, but is a riot to visit.

 

 

The only thing weirder than the Putterman family and their circumstances is the house itself. The far-out set design really sticks in my memory when I think about this film. The strange décor is both

lovably tasteless (dad Stanley calls it his “pleasure palace”) and almost dreamlike. Roman statues and S&M-deco paintings adorn the halls, splashed in pastel pink, green, and blue lighting. The living room is filled with a curved couch made for thirty. Grandpa’s emergency bunker (conveniently located along the entrance way) is stacked with guns and rations. Even the sky outside is strange, being an obvious backdrop, but a very cool looking one. The house becomes a character, and all of the action unfolds within its walls and in the yard.

 

The cast is well chosen, including yet another dude from the list of go-to 80’s weirdos, Jon Gries (Lazlo from Real Genius, Louie from Fright Night 2) who plays sister Suzy’s dopey metalhead boyfriend. Suzy is played to valley punker perfection by the hot Diane Franklin, better known as the French exchange student in the classic comedy Better Off Dead. The dad is none other than Bud the C.H.U.D. himself, Gerrit Graham, and mom is the once-sexy Mary Woronov, who bared her breasts in many a movie, but not this one. Speaking of breasts, this film received an R rating, but by today’s standards it’s quite PG-13: no nudity, no realistic blood, and no actual scares.

 

 

Another float in the parade of awesomeness is the trash monster and gore effects. A lot of artists can create a realistic creature, but this one not only looks good, but also charms with his personality. In Suzi’s words, he’s cute… even while he kills innocent people and barfs in their faces.

 

Underneath the splashes of pastel and the green slime, TerrorVision is box of candy for schlock lovers: sex, laughs, guns, cartoonish gore, giant Roman hot tubs, late-night horror hosts, bombs, orgies, booze, and valley girls. It has an aura all its own, and yet at the same time it's quintessentially 80's.

 

I recently noticed a thread on IMBd.com lamenting the lack of a sequel, and I must agree with this person. You don’t find a lot of gems like this one, and unfortunately they’re impossible to duplicate or remake today. If only Charles Band had parlayed the resources he put into one of his far more worthless endeavors into a TerrorVision sequel, maybe we’d have more trash monsters and less puppet masters. How could that be a bad thing??

 

This is a must-own for 80’s schlock lovers!

 

 

Rating: 4.5/5 Colorful Bouffonts

 

 

 

 

More video and pictures:

 

 

    

    

    

 

    

 

The TerrorVision theme song: