By: Frank

 

I've got a certain affection for films that use horror elements to hone an edge on fantasy, which is a genre suited better to kids and questionable heterosexuals. The likes of Dellamorte Dellamore (Cemetary Man) and Pan's Labyrinth come to my mind when I imagine hard-egded fanstasies. Such was my thinking this week I took a bite out of Highway to Hell, a little-recognized early 90's entry into this unusual genre combo.

 

Highway first drifted onto the fandom radar (and my 14-year-old horror-drenched mind) around the time of the 1991 Fangoria's Weekend of Horrors. Fangoria was still a legitimate brand name then, before Rue Morgue came along and stole the cup, but I digress. Stuntman-cum-suit-performer C.J. Graham was in attendance, signing 8x10 photos of himself as Jason from Friday the 13th VI. Somewhere at the edge of his table was a stack of pictures depicting a lithic-faced new character called Hellcop, a modernistic minion of the underworld from his new film, the subject herein.

 

Following a dismal theatrical release (the second one in two years for director Ate de Jong, the first being Drop Dead Fred), Highway fell into murky world of rental-shelf obscurity, a damn shame from this reviewer's scattered point of view, even though I only got around to watching 15 years after I skipped over Graham's autograph table on my way to lust after a young Danielle Harris (calm down, you pervs, we're almost the same age.)

 

Part Army of Darkness, part ZZ Top video, a wee bit of Beetlejuice, a sprinkle of Maniac Cop; Highway doesn't really bare comparison to any particular film, instead finding itself stuck in an 80's hangover of strange, comical, and vaguely satirical elements, luckily avoiding the self-satisfied irony that soon threatened to swamp 90's pop culture.

 

Protagonist Chad Lowe rarely impresses anyone but gay dudes, his own mother, and assholes. In Highway, he etches out a Corey-Haim-via-Brad-Pitt dopiness as capably as anyone could possibly expect (or want), but luckily he's saved by a decidedly decent chemistry between him and romantic interest Kristy Swanson. They play a young couple in love, late-night trekking to Las Vegas for a quick marriage, when (gulp!) they come across a stretch of desert highway that just so happens to be a portal to the hot place.

 

Chad < Rob < Skeet Ulrich

 

Satan's own cop (Graham, with a face graffiti-carved like an old high school desk) pulls them over and dramatically abducts virginal Swanson down to the depressing desertscape of Hades, sending Lowe on a mouth-breathing rescue mission that he must complete in 24 hours or else risk permanent residence in Hell.

 

Lowe lumbers his way through a series of sleazy, cheesy, and strange places populated by all manner of beings, from decaying diner-patrons to purple-skinned, droopy-boobed demon women. The cheese-factor and the coolness build simultaneously to a predictable but satisfying conclusion, complete with juicy matte paintings, excellent practical makeup effects, and pre-CGI optical effects galore.

 

Any movie with cameos by Gilbert Gottfried as a dwarf-mocking Hitler and loveably grizzled ol' stuntman-turned-actor Richard Farnsworth (star of David Lynch's unlikely Disney tear-jerker The Straight Story) is alright in my book, but that's just the cherry-on-top-of-the-icing-on-top-of-the-cake—the icing: more cameos, including Lita Ford, Ben Stiller, Jerry Stiller, and Alice Cooper; and the cake: fun story, funner world, and funner-still ambitious, low-budget sense of abandon.

 

It's no classic, but it's a worthy view that will stick in the memory of any fan of weird cinema. It's a wise choice for your rare VHS shelf, although pricing in at around $20 on Amazon, it won't be as cheap as some of its shelf mates. If only the Sci-Fi Channel would stop showing the awful CGI-dung it passes off as programming and give us some entertaining obscurities like this, maybe you wouldn't have to buy it at all (and I wouldn't be driven to huff keyboard duster every time I accidently flipped past it on my way to A&E.)

 

 

2.5/5 Jewish Hitlers

 

 

 

 

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